Thursday, April 7, 2011

We Lost Riley...

I knew.

Somehow, someway, God was preparing me for this. I'd even thought about what to post on this blog if it happened. But now that's it's here, I can't remember what I had planned to say.

We lost Riley.

He was taken into foster care by relatives. The good news is that he DOES have a home now, kind of. At least he has family that cares about him enough not to leave him in an orphanage. But he was not meant to be Our Son.

This has always been a possibility, nothing is ever certain until your court date. Even if we had been in country and met Riley, any member of his family could have come forward to claim him up until our court date.

I just have to remind myself that this is not a surprise to God. He knew this was coming and He has a plan.

Please pray for Rob and I as we try to figure out what to do next. We still plan to adopt but we'll need to choose a different child. Right now there's about 15 different kids I want to scoop up, so how do I choose??

24 comments:

Nicki said...

Jess, wow. I don't even know what to say. I am so sorry, but I know that just like you said -- God knew this was coming and HE DOES HAVE A PLAN. Mathis and I will be praying for you and Rob as you determine what to do next.

ukraine09 said...

Jess - I'm so, so sorry for your loss. I do know how you feel. Up until about a day before we left for our adoption trip we were supposed to be adopting a little girl named Anna. Well, God had different plans and it ended up being Victoria that He chose for our family. I still think about Anna, but I know that it wasn't what was meant to be. God knows what He is doing.
I will be praying for you and that God will lead you in what decision is right for your family.

Jaime

M. E. said...

: * (

HUGE HUGS JESS!!!!! I am incredibly sorry!

Praying for Peace and Clarity to you.

Blessings

Melissa

journeytoonemore.blogspot.com

jeanette said...

Rob & Jess,
My heart aches for you guys. I will definitely be praying for you both and the decisions ahead.

Kelly said...

We know how you feel. We lost both of ours, Marlena passed away and John Mark's family do not want him to be adopted. We are praying for you. We are currently at 31 (it is a great orphanage; the staff really care) There are several children here available, like Mason (who we met yesterday and is ABSOLUTELY precious). He is a BRIGHT boy and so so so sweet! Email me if you need support or questions!

PJH said...

I am so sorry to hear this. It brings tears to my eyes and I cannot imagine what you are feeling right now. I will be praying for you and know that the right choice will make itself known. Sending love...

Carla Dobs said...

I just sent you an email through the RR yahoo group...

The site with the 8 yo boy with HIV looking for a home before transfer is

www.nogreaterjoymom.com

Please go see Vanya...

I have a feeling about this ;-)

Carla
www.bringinghenryhome.blogspot.com

Leanne said...

Oh Jess, while I am glad he is with family, I am heartbroken for you and in tears with you. I am so sorry this happened to you, yet I refuse to believe that this is outside of His perfect plan. I pray for you, that you will experience the peace and comfort of Him who's got all of this worked out prior to your existence, Riley's or that of another child(ren). Much love.
PS: don't know who to choose? Don't rush yourself. Take some time to grieve Riley, and bring it all to Him. He already knows.

Anonymous said...

Im so sorry you lost your little boy, of course it's geat that he's with a family but I'm sure it still hurts so much. I'm praying for you, and Riley.

Felicity said...

I'm so sorry about that, Jess. I have loved Riley so much too, and now I'll never get to see photos of him with you!
I trust that the Lord will show you where to go from here.

Felicity

Emily said...

I'm so sorry about Riley. I'll be praying for you and your husband, for Riley, and for the little ones you are considering.

Rochelle said...

Jess,
We are praying for you for discernment and for your dissertation!

The Ironic Catholic said...

I'm so sorry. Prayers. And on a different note, as someone who survived the dissertation process, I'll pray for that too!

Emilie said...

Jess and Rob, I am so sorry. Knowing he is with family is probably little consolation to the loss of Riley as your son. The love the you felt for him was palpable through this blog and I hope you are able to continue your journey with the same passion you've had up until now.

Anonymous said...

Wow, I'm in shock! I know this happens but he seemed like a perfect fit for your family. The Lord has other plans for him and for your family and we are excited to see what those are! We will continue to pray for Riley and for you and Rob. We will continue to support your adoption, even if it is just a little here and there, no matter whom you feel the Lord is leading you to next.
Praying for discernment!
Angie

Bobbie said...

I am so very sorry for your loss. Prayers and strength to you and your family.

Shari said...

My heart absolutely sank when I read the title of your post, I am joyful that Riley is still alive and has a "somewhat family" but, of course, sorrowful that it is not yours. My mind went immediately to Vanya as well, it would be amazing if you were his family!

Marianne said...

Oh, I'm so sorry! It must be hard when you've had your heart set on Riley, but the good news is that there will now be two children who will have homes. I hope you find the child that God does have in mind for you!

travcat said...

So sorry!!! I just feel sick for you!!

What about little Sutton? He is so young and looks like such a sweetie!

Catherine
wronginalltherightways-travcat.blogspot.com

David and Carolyn said...

I'm so sorry Jess. You both will be in our prayers. That the Lord will lead you to that sweet blessing He has in store for you.

Kelli Moore said...

Jess, I am so sorry for your guys! I know they always say that God doesn't close one door without opening another, but that doesn't do a whole lot of help in the hear and now. I'm sure there's going to be grieving for Riley, simply because he's part of your heart. Please let me know if there's anything I can do for you both. I am so sorry.
Kelli

Kellan's momma said...

I am so, so sorry for you guys. I pray Riley is in the right place, and I have faith that he is. God will lead you to the right child, I know when I look at all of them I wonder how a person chooses. But I don't think you do, He does. You guys are in my prayers, I know this is a loss for you.

Briana said...

I'm so sorry. I'm praying for you and for Riley.

jenn33199 said...

I am so so so sorry...I can't imagine how you must be feeling.

Sometimes it is so hard to fathom what our Father's plans are- and why he has chosen as he has...

This is perhaps rude- and not sensitive to your feelings- but my family has been praying daily for a little guy named Andy in Russia with HIV. We adore him. His face is on our fridge and I can't help but tear up everytime I see it.

He may not be your son, but I'm hoping that you take another look at this little guy. He is so very precious (as all the children are....so so hard.....)

http://reecesrainbow.org/andy-bp2x-2h

My thoughts and prayers are with you.