Sunday, April 10, 2011

Do You Ever Feel Like Giving Up?

Right now, I do. I just want to quit. Rob doesn't, and we aren't going to, that's just how I'm feeling right now.

Never in this process have I felt like giving up. Tired, yes....frustrated, yes....not even when we lost Vika did I want to quit. Right now I don't think I ever want to go through an adoption again.

Rob is too stubborn to give up so thankfully God made us a team. He's keeping us going right now, not me.

We are struggling to choose another child. All I want right now is Riley. How can I choose from the hundreds of waiting children? How did we ever choose Riley in the first place? I can hardly remember now, it just seems like Riley was always our beacon guiding the way.

Please don't suggest children for us right now, it's just not helpful. We want to save them all, and yet we only want Riley back. Just pray that God would speak to us in a way He has never done before about what our next step is.

Thank you.

10 comments:

Mel said...

Hang in there Jess... Praying for clarity for you and your family! God will show you your child...

Felicity said...

My heart aches for you right now. I'm glad your husband is there to keep you going. God will direct your way!

MamaBear said...

Praying for you both during this lost. Keeping Riley and his family in my prayers as well. May God hold you and guide you through this journey to bring you child home.

GraceWatch said...

God bless you--it's hard to grieve and plan for the future. You're doing a hard thing. I'll pray for you folks today for peace and clarity.

Susan

Julia said...

Let it go for a few days. Stop trying. Just rest. Give yourself a chance to seriously grieve your loss. It is okay. Let God pour peace back into your heart. I'm praying as I know many are. I'm so sorry for your loss. I would be crushed if we had lost Aaron. I truly am sorry.

Verum said...

Hang in there & God bless

Kellan's momma said...

I;m so sorry. One day at a time. I totally agree with Julia. Thinking of and praying for you guys.

Jess said...

Thanks, Julia. I think that's the best advice we've gotten so far, and sort of what my heart was already doing on its own. But it's nice to have some outside confirmation.

Leslie said...

(((Jess))) Hugs to you. Agreeing with Julia's advice to take time to grieve. I'm sorry for your hearting heart and am praying!

Marianne said...

Hi, this is Marianne with RR. Could you please email me? marianne@reecesrainbow.org thanks!!