Friday, April 8, 2011

Answers To Your Questions

Thank you all for your prayers, we are definitely feeling lifted up by them. I've had a few questions that I thought would be good to answer here on the blog, especially for future reference to other adopting families. Make no mistake, this WILL happen again to someone. I hope our experience can help these other families in the future.

Q: Are you still adopting? Do you have to start the process over?
A: Yes, we are still adopting. No, we do not have to start over. In fact we hope to maintain about the same timeline as originally planned. It was never a question for us of whether or not to continue, just a question of who does God have planned for us to adopt. I am confident that God used Riley to get us to the point we are now.

Q: Is it possible for Riley to become available for adoption again? Can you get any more information about his family?
A: We know nothing about his family and cannot legally find out anything about them. Nor do we wish to. We are comforted that it was his relatives that took him in, that is actually a good sign of progress for their culture to accept these children. We trust that God, who cares more about Riley than we do, has a plan for Riley's life. Of course it is always a possibility that they will bring him back to the orphanage, and that he may or may not be available for adoption in the future. If God brings him back into our life then we will take that step when it comes.

Q: What happens to the money in Riley's grant fund?
A: Before we committed to Riley he had $1,100 in his child grant. Now that he is no longer legally available for adoption that grant money will transfer to the child we choose to adopt and combine with any existing grants that child may already have.

Q: What happens to the money in your family grant fund?
A: It stays with us and will go towards the adoption of our new child. Please keep donating and spreading the word, we aren't fully funded yet!!

Things that have been helpful: Your comments expressing condolences and prayers have been extremely comforting.

Things that have NOT been helpful: Any comment or email saying something like, "I'm sorry about Riley, pick __________!" I know you all mean well and I am not singling anyone out, this is just a general statement that I hope will be helpful for future families going through this. Please realize that we have just lost our SON! We are quite aware of all the children who need families and God will lead us to the right one.

Thank you all, so very very much, in this unexpected and difficult time.


one_plustwins said...

Praying for you and Rob, Jess. I pray God leads you to your next child in His perfect way and timing. I pray your marriage grows stronger having lost a child. I pray His divine comfort for your heart--I know it is aching right now. God bless you sweet lady. You are very near and dear to my heart now.

Dobrovits Family said...

Sorry for being insensitive to your loss...

blessings and take care!


Jess said...

Carla, there are NO hard feelings WHATSOEVER! I just wanted to put that out there for future families.

Amanda said...

We "lost" Tanner too. Then we found Andriy(14). Sadly Tanner is now available for adoption again, but I know that Andriy was a who was always suppose to be ours. I hope I did not upset you I just saw you were interested in one little boy and wanted to give you someone I knew who had met him. I have my "picks" I am trying to advocate for, but I was in no way trying to push that child onto you. You will find the right child or he/she will find you, like in our case.

Dobrovits Family said...

Thanks for your kind words Jess....

We are a very excitable, fervent group of women who often "leap" before they "look"!

You brought up a very important point in a charitable way!