Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Uninspired, Discouraged and Doubting

Uninspired.

I have been uninspired to post on here lately. I don't know exactly why. It's not that nothing has happened and I have nothing to say...I don't know what it is. But it's been almost a week and I wanted to say SOMETHING. Just don't expect anything profound in this post, it is mostly for me :).

Discouraged.

I feel discouraged in a lot of ways right now. Some of them I can't really mention on here, but I'll share what I can.

First of all--Vika. We got an update on Vika. She has been taken into foster care. We are trying to find out if the foster family will allow us to adopt her (that's how it works in her country), but most likely they will say no. They get money from the government for keeping foster children (just like in our country). I'm not sure if we'll even be able to make contact with the family to ask. She's no longer at the orphanage so I won't get to see her this summer. I may never see her again.

Secondly, our giveaway is not off to the best start. I am so grateful to the two people who have donated, and the two people who have shared about it, don't get me wrong. But seriously...just $30 after one week? I know we have until the end of March, but I am still discouraged.

Doubting.

I am doubting that God is going to fully fund our adoption. We are still a long ways away from our fundraising goal. We are running out of time. I am so consumed with finishing my dissertation (draft due in 3 weeks!) and finishing our dossier that I just don't have time to plan or execute any more fundraisers before I graduate in May. And we hope to travel right after I graduate.

Speaking of graduating, I am doubting that I will. I found out a week ago that I have to defend by April 1 in order to walk across the stage. So my defense is tentatively scheduled for March 31, assuming I can pull my dissertation and presentation together in time. I thought I had until the end of April for this deadline.

Also. I've been craving a puzzle for months now and I finally bought one and have it set up on the kitchen table, and my cats keep getting up on there and destroying what I've done, scattering the pieces, losing them, chewing on them, etc. You'd think they were puppies!

I can't think of a good way to end this post, so....The End.

3 comments:

Kellan's momma said...

I'm so sorry you are having such a hard time. It will get better! Maybe you could enlist some blogs with lots of followers to post about your fundraiser, like A Perfect Lily, or even Enjoying the Small Things (I like to think big!) I will put his button on my blog (I don't have a large following) and my facebook. And I will pray!!

Wifeofworldsbesthusband&daddy said...

I can't even begin to imagine how you must feel about sweet little Vika. : ( We will continue to pray for her situation! James 1:2-4 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters,whenever you face trials of many kinds,because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

Did Masha get a family?!? I thought I saw her on the My Family Found Page. : ) That is something to rejoice about!!!!

Keep looking up!
Angie

PJH said...

My heart hurts for you right now. I can't imagine how you are getting all of that done, on top of the emotional ups and downs of the adoption process. I will be praying for you and definitely want to donate and enter for that beautiful dogwood necklace. I'm glad for the reminder!