Today has been an emotional roller-coaster. The first high is not related to our adoption and requires a little bit of a back-story, so let me explain.
As a graduate student, part of my job is teaching one course per semester. Last spring I had a wonderful student in my class who I can honestly say is my favorite student EVER. And I don't say that lightly. I've had many, many students over the years. I'll call him J.
In the fall I found out that J. had been hit by a motorcycle (he was a pedestrian) and was in a coma. He wasn't expected to live through the night.
But he did.
Then he wasn't expected to wake up from that coma until at least Christmas, if ever.
But he woke up three weeks later.
If he ever did wake up from that coma, it was expected that he would have to re-learn how to walk, talk, eat, etc.
He walked out of the hospital on his own just two months after the accident.
Up until this morning, the latest I had heard was that J. was in the hospital and responding to some stimuli.
At 1:00pm this afternoon, J. walked into my office.
I did a double-take. I thought I was seeing a ghost! But no, it was him! Walking, talking fine, short-term memory a bit fuzzy but he remembered what floor my office was on. And what floor our classroom was on.
I am still in utter SHOCK! God is so good. J. is truly a living, breathing miracle.
He could only stay for about 10 minutes, and as soon as he left I sat back down to my computer to discover that....
Masha cannot be held from being transferred.
Oh sweet Masha, you will be ripped from everything and everyone you have ever known. You will be shoved into a car for the first time and taken to a place far worse than where you live now. You will not get to go outside anymore. No swinging for you. No sunlight, no fresh air. You will never be taught how to eat properly, fed only from a bottle for the rest of your short life. You will be labeled "ineducable" and put in a crib with high steel bars. They will take most of your clothes and you will lie naked in your own excrement for hours and hours until someone comes to clean you. If you're lucky you might get a sheet to lie on. If you're not lucky, they will tie you up in a sheet, straight-jacket style. You will be drugged most of the time so that you lay quietly in your crib.
Oh Masha, I am so, so sorry we cannot save you from this fate.
But someone WILL come to rescue you. You will not have to live in that horrible place for long, God willing. Your family is going to come for you, little girl. Just hold on. Don't lose your spark or your smile.
Our God is the God of miracles. I just witnessed one today. I am believing for one for Masha. Pray with me.