One of my favorite worship songs is "Hosanna". In it there is a line that says,
Break my heart for what breaks Yours
I'd like for you to listen to this song while you read the rest of this post. So please hit "play" and then keep reading.
Ever since I started this adoption process I have learned new meanings of grief. Adoption is truly not for the faint of heart. But even if you're not an adopting family, your heart still breaks for these children. Not every adoption has a happy ending. Not every child lives long enough to be adopted.
Take a look at this little girl, Marlena:
She had a family coming for her. But, she didn't live through her heart surgery last week. She was only seven months old.
The next two precious children passed away earlier this year. They did not even have a family coming for them.
Sometimes, a child becomes unavailable at the last minute. That's what just happened for the family that was trying to adopt Martin:
And for the family that was trying to adopt John Mark (who also happens to be the same family that was adopting Marlena, they lost both of them):
We have no guarantees about Riley. While he doesn't have a heart condition like the children above did (or do), there is still the possibility that he will become unavailable for whatever reason. We won't really know for sure until our dossier is submitted and the child's file is "pulled".
In our hearts, he is ours. And it will be devastating to lose him. And while that probably won't happen, I'm trying to prepare my heart for the possibility. Just watching these other families go through this in the past few weeks has been eye-opening. There are no guarantees, ever.
I also think of sweet Vanessa and Lilly, who both have serious heart conditions and need surgery badly.
Every morning when I wake up I dread finding them on this page: